


Oh the Hatred and Love

by CheerfullyCynical



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: A look into the Master & the Doctor's past, Angst, Confessions, Doctor Who Feels, Doctor's past feels, Gen, Spoilers for Episode: s12e01-02 Spyfall, Telepathy, The Master Angst, Touch Telepathy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:01:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22163749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheerfullyCynical/pseuds/CheerfullyCynical
Summary: The Master wasn't done with the Doctor when he sent her to the Kasaavin's dimension. he wanted to revel in her pain.
Relationships: Past The Doctor & The Master, The Doctor & The Master (Doctor Who), Thirteenth Doctor & The Master (Dhawan), Thirteenth Doctor & Yasmin Khan, Thirteenth Doctor & Yasmin Khan & Graham O'Brien & Ryan Sinclair
Comments: 5
Kudos: 121





	Oh the Hatred and Love

The Doctor didn’t recognize the Things in front of her.

That was her first thought, of all things, when the Master, her oldest friend and enemy, once again revealed himself. He had miraculously risen from the dead, and, again, threatened her friends. Their game was getting tiresome even if the Doctor was a bit more scared this time around.

She had seen hundreds of thousands of planets, all rising and falling throughout time, twisted and reborn just as herself. Some beautiful, some deadly and dangerous, all of them brimming with life. But _this,_ this _Nothing_ as Yaz had called it, made every nerve in her body quiver and shake.

She placed one soft, gentle finger against the _things_ in front of her. She could only assume it was some sort of organic life form. Yet, just as her finger made contact with its rough, slightly slimy surface, it shocked her. A trail of white electricity sizzled as she brought her hand back, warning her of just how much danger she was in.

The pain diminished quickly, but it left her with more questions than answers. She spun suddenly, watching as the electricity made its way down to the ground, surrounding her feet. She shivered violently, not liking them in the slightest.

She breathed deeply, sturdily, trying hard not to move. For all she knew, they were alive, following the Master’s orders under the assumption that her old friend cared for their existence in the slightest. However, perhaps, this one time, the Master had become so crazed that they were using him just as much as he was using them.

The lights below her continued to dance around her. When The Doctor gained the courage to move, they moved with her. It was with a relieved breath that they didn’t shock her.

“Strange, aren’t they?”

She spun once again, furious that he had managed to sneak up on her. She should have known that his performance wasn’t done.

“My friends?” She demanded, enraged once again, “What did you-”

“You know,” He interrupted, smiling - _always smiling that annoyingly crazed smirk like she was a bug under his shoe,_ “Why is it that every time I have _finally_ captured the infamous Doctor, left you helpless and without a plan, to do whatever I want with you, you always ask about your… _pets_.”

“They are not pets,” She spat at him, “They are living, beautiful-”

“Don’t care!” He laughed, “In fact, I care so little about them, they might still be falling on that plane, right to their deaths. What a way to go! I mean, the fire, _the screams,_ oh, what a quick mercy.”

Her whole body shook – knees nearly giving out. Ice traveled through her at the look the Master was giving her, watching her like pray as she tried so hard to not fall for his lies. _No._ No, they couldn’t be... Not Yaz, not Ryan, not Graham. All such a lovely, dazzling bunch of humans. She couldn’t fail anyone anymore – especially not them.

“What a lovely look on your face.” He whispered, reverently, as if her pain was the most stunning thing he had ever seen. Before she could move away, he made a step towards her. He titled his head slightly, watching a tear trail down her face. His hand shook as he raised it, causing her to freeze in place.

He touched her softly, lifting her chin and using his thumb to wipe away a tear. She dared to look at his eyes once again. He was studying her, deep in thought, but not a mad man. He didn’t look in her eyes, no, but what she could see was the man behind the madness. 

She couldn’t breathe.

“Oh, Doctor,” He said to her, as if there wasn’t years of abuse in front of them, “How beautiful you are.”

This was her oldest, dearest friend. They would run in his father’s fields, carefree as the two suns shone above them. They had laughed and cried together, thinking they were going to be close forever, through time and space. They were unstoppable back then, full of hope. The Doctor yearned for that time just as much as him.

But the Master wasn’t that carefree child that she knew anymore.

“My friends.” She demanded.

The flash of hurt that passed by his face surprised her. He put his arm down immediately, quickly recovering as he smiled that wicked smile at her once again.

“Did you really think I would let them have such a peaceful death? I mean, come on, Doctor, how utterly boring do you think I became after all those years texting? No, a plane crash was just too…Too quick for the ones you so lovingly call ‘friends’.”

She stared at him, watching as his hands shook and trembled in glee. He snapped his fingers twice, just as he had done on the plane, and three bursts of light emerged in front of her, blinding her. She blinked the stars out of her eyes, relieved when she saw her Fam safe and sound. Well, still screaming from what she guessed was a falling plane, if she was honest, but _alive._

“Doc?” Graham asked, wide eyed but with a relieved smile. She had missed such a hopeful smile in the very short minutes her friend had been gone, “But how-?”

“While I usually do love listening to the ramblings of an uninformed human the Doctor loves to toy with,” The Master said, “There is just…Just one thing before I go on with my final bow.”

He revealed what the Doctor knew to be the tissue regressor. Her hearts stilled in her chest as she pointed it recklessly at Ryan, who, _again_ if the Doctor was honest, looked rather more startled than usual. She looked at Ryan, begging him silently not to test the man that looked to be holding a glorified pencil sharpener.

“Leave them be.” She whispered, not quite begging but voice filled with desperation, “They have nothing-”

“ _No!”_ He snarled at her, once again in her face. She didn’t flinch – didn’t dare back down – but was forced not to say anything. “No,” He said again, much calmer, “I’m not here to make this about them. I’ve waited years for this moment, _again,_ and I will not have it tarnished by _humans._ ”

“Then tell me what you want.” She said, “No more mind games. No more shows. Just _tell me_.”

There was a moment, so harsh in the air, the Doctor could practically taste it. She glanced at her companions, worried for them in a way she had never been worried before. She has been so cruel to her friends and family, in each regeneration, but it had never come down to this.

They stood so tall, so confused, in their human brilliance – unafraid of a very large threat against them. It was why she loved them so much. She lived to see them overcome their own obstacles, be the better person, and do it by their side. It was why he could never stay away from them forever.

She looked to Ryan, to Graham, to Yaz, and she saw the future.

_“Kneel.”_

The Doctor’s eyes found the Master’s once again. Such a _stupid_ request, but it did exactly what he wanted to accomplish. She glanced behind him, looking at the faces of horror the group shared.

“Doc,” Ryan said, “Don’t-”

But that was hopeless. If putting such a small bit of pride on the line was what it took to keep them safe, it was an easy bargain. She put one knee to the ground, heavier than before, then the other, eyes forward and looking away from him.

“ _Call me by my name.”_

She clenched her teeth, rolling her eyes just slightly at his request. “Master.” She muttered, hating how it sounded. _Koschei._ That was the true name on the tip of her tongue. Though that long-ago friend was obliterated in the stars and planet she had tried to freeze forever, it still followed her in the stars she chose to run towards.

“Beg your pardon?”

She looked up at him, at the monster wearing her friend’s face, and again felt tears come to her eyes at what they had both become.

“Oi!” Yaz spoke up, “You don’t get to treat her like-”

“ _Yazmin Khan, do not say another word.”_

Her voice, usually carefree and light around them, echoed angrily across the empty void. Yaz flinched at the words, eyes wide, looking to the others as their confusion also grew.

She looked up at her old friend, furiously not letting him take away the friendships she had left. “Master.” She said again, louder, nearly perfect.

“Can’t hear you, love.”

She titled her head, almost in mocking. No, he didn’t get to play this game, not with her. If he wanted to suffer, wanted to bring out every mistake she had ever made, then she was there to provide it, “ _Koschei.”_

He looked at her, the smile falling away from his face. He nodded once, in acceptance, looking her up and down. She knew that he was wondering who had won in this very moment, even if had had won the big picture.

He laughed shrilly, realizing he had lost this particular battle. Before she could process it, he had raised his hand and sent it flying towards her, the back of his hand slamming into her face, causing her to fall to the ground in pure shock.

“Doc!” Graham yelled, coming up behind her. He gently picked her up, steading her in his arms. The side of her face burned, not doubt already a bright red. What hurt more was the action itself.

“Goodbye, old friend,” The Master said softly to her, a parting gift, “Enjoy a slow death.”

And in the blink of an eye, he was gone.

She didn’t even figure out his plan – but his plan was not what was on her mind. What remained was the longing she tried so hard to ignore. Thousands of years of history between them, nearly all bad, but still the Doctor yearned for her friend. The pain on her face was nothing compared to the idea of him killing everything she held dear.

Yasmin Khan was in front of her, blocking her view of the place where her friend had disappeared. The world in front of her came back with too sudden a clarity. She was kneeling with her, looking at her face with a clinical eye, “I have some EMT training, but I’m not sure it’s any use without any supplies.”

Healing her wounds was the last thing on her mind.

“You did great, Yasmin Khan,” The Doctor told her, meaning every word, “I didn’t mean to yell – I didn’t want you to get hurt.”

“So you get hurt instead?” Ryan interrupted, arms crossed, “We’re a _Fam,_ Doctor. You told us that. Fam’s stick together.” 

She smiled, tears in her eyes, “Right you are, Ryan. Fam’s stick together.” She repeated.

They were silent, all of them gathering their thoughts. She knew that she should focus on their escape from this other… _World. Dimension._ Whatever it was. She found herself stuck, instead, wondering where her friendship had started to unravel.

When she refocused, she realized that Graham had maneuvered her to lean her back against one of the _Things._ The rest of the Fam were sitting in a circle around her, silent but eyes still filled with hope. It was enough to bring her out of it.

“Who was he?” Graham asked, the quiet too much to bare for all them.

She blew out a puff of air, not surprised by the question, but hurt all the same. They deserve to know. It wasn’t right to keep her past from them anymore, not when it put them in this amount of harm’s way.

She had been running for so long in this body, happy to ignore her past. Her past self had said _be kind_ and she had taken that bit of advice to heart as much as she could. She wanted to go on adventures with her new family, thinking through dangerous situations and forgetting she had a whole past she was running from.

She could lie to them, she realized. They would be none the wiser. It was a horrible dark moment for her to realize that she very nearly preferred to lie to them over telling the whole truth. But it was made her look up from the ground and tell them.

“That Master is…Was my oldest friend.” She started. “We grew up together on my home planet, Gallifrey, to train to become Time Lords.”

“Friend?” Ryan asked, only for Yaz to shoot him a look.

But the Doctor knew exactly what Ryan wanted to know.

“We grew up together, as children,” She said, voice soft as she allowed herself to remember, “We would run around with the two suns above us in his father’s field, reckless. I think…I think we loved each other once. Before…Before the war.” She closed her eyes, unable to face them eye to eye. “It was a long time ago. We went…Very different ways.”

There was silence again. Perhaps they understood just a bit of her past, of the small details she gave away. When she had the courage to look at them again, they looked sad. Were they sad for her?

“What does it look like?” Graham asked, “Your planet, I mean.”

She was reminded suddenly of Martha Jones. She had looked so darling at him all those ages ago, sitting on that dirty plastic chair and demanding answers about his past. It was very much like this.

She smiled as she told them. How beautiful it was, of the red sand and magnificent mountain peaks. She spoke of the Academy and her friends. She avoided the subject of her wife and children, long dead, like the plague and thankfully, her kind group of humans didn’t judge her for it.

“It sounds amazing, Doctor.” Yaz asked her, “But… Why haven’t we gone there yet?”

The question stung, as it always did, but not as much as it before the great adventure he had with Bad Wolf. Or the even worse adventure as the Eleventh Doctor. “I...” She replied, “I don’t visit. I…My planet was frozen away in a Time Bubble, hidden away from a war with a vicious race called the Daleks. I couldn’t go there for the longest time.”

Graham grabbed her hand, squeezing it lightly in comfort, “I’m so sorry, doc.”

She smiled, glad to have them. Honestly glad to have them.

“Did you say you’re a Time Lord?” Ryan asked, “What does that mean?”

“Oh, you know,” She replied, trying to keep it light, “Two hearts, regeneration, telepathic powers. The works! I’m an alien, after all.”

They all looked at her with wide eyes. All at once, they asked questions, looking more surprised at what she was rather than that she was close friends with the one that had nearly killed them. Humans! So interesting.

“No hold on a minute,” Graham said, “You can read minds?”

“Well,” She replied, dragging the world out, “Only when I’m touching someone. Don’t worry, haven’t seen a thought that crossed you lot minds. I don’t go willy-nilly poking around in people’s heads, that would be quite rude – and beyond irresponsible. Don’t let anyone into your head and if they do, you tell me.”

“Wait-wait,” Yaz said, “The M-Master, at Barton’s party, he was touching my hand. Does that mean-?”

“No.” She said sternly, a bit too quickly, “No,” She repeat, gentler, “the Master is many things, but even he would never go as far as violating your mind like that.”

Yaz nodded, not looking reassured at least, but willing to let it go. “Is there a way to tell?”

The Doctor pursed her lips on pure accident, uncomfortable. She hadn’t used her telepathic ability in many years, didn’t like to after Donna Noble, and found going into someone’s mind always revealed more than she was willing to see. But, if Yaz was frightening by what her friend did, she couldn’t possibly say no.

She gestured for Yaz to come closer, letting Graham switch places with her. Without letting herself think too much about it, she placed two fingers on her temple. She closed her eyes, letting the memories rush over her.

She searched only for Barton’s party, making sure not to linger on Yaz’s unfiltered thoughts. She watched as her friend smiled at Yaz, surprised to see it genuine, but glad to see that there were no missing spots in Yaz’s memory. As she predicted, the Master would still never do anything to an innocent person, no matter how much he hated her.

Because the Doctor knew Yaz would be curious, she sent out a quick little, _“Hello, Yaz! All good in here, it seems.”_

Yaz pulled away immediately, gasping in surprise, “I heard you!”

“No way!” Ryan said in disbelief, “She wasn’t having a go on us? No offense, Doctor! Just…Telepathic! I thought that was only on the telly.”

Before the Doctor could respond, the burst of lights from before reappeared, swirling in circles around them. They reminded her about their current predicament – being stuck in this _Nothing_ place.

“Come on, Fam!” She said, getting up from their little safe corner. She didn’t want to let them know those lights could shock them. “Much more to do! We may not have a lot at our disposal, but I’m sure we can come up with something. Now…”

And it was as it should be again. Her companions and her against an obstacle, saving the world.

The Master won’t know what hit him.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Doctor Who fandom! It's been...Hmm...just about A COUPLE OF YEARS since I actually watched Doctor Who. I first fell in love when I was thirteen, got out of it when the Eleventh Doctor came around, and came back because of Jodie Whittaker. HECK YEAH I wanted a female doctor and I instantly feel in love. 
> 
> Seeing the Master with the Thirteenth Doctor gave me Feels. The last season, in my opinion, was AMAZING but it didn't get my fic writing feel. These last two episodes did! I mean, THE MASTER. I avoided any and all spoilers about that, so I was right properly shocked at the reveal. I remember my days with the Tenth Doctor vs The Master and I LOVED those episodes. 
> 
> So, what I'm trying to say is that I'm very new to this fandom (technically) and have forgotten a lot of the Doctor's history, so I apologize if I got something wrong. 
> 
> I HOPE YOU ENJOYED. Have a lovely day, fandom!


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